Sunday, May 27, 2012

A Diagnosis

Friday, May 25, 2012...
I will never forget that date as long as I live. We received a phone call from Chop on Wednesday afternoon asking us to come in on Friday morning at 8am. They said a specific neurologist that was there only once a month wanted to take a look at Treston's case and they had the lab result. For the next day and a half we prayed and thought of nothing else.
First, the physical therapist came in and evaluated him. He said he looks great, right on target save for his head lag. We thought that was good news. Then, the genetic counselor came in. She said we have an answer...muscular dystrophy. I felt faint. I felt like it wasn't quite real. I didn't know what to feel. They said they aren't sure what kind it is yet. They have narrowed it down to three...congenital, emery-dreifuss or limb-girdle. They won't know what type it is until they know when the onset of it is. They originally thought that his hypotonia was the onset, which would mean congenital, but when they saw how he has improved, they weren't sure. They tested Jon and me to see if we have it because if we do, then he would turn out ok like us, but they said they don't expect us to have it so that's pretty much a long shot. They told us they have to monitor his heart, because he is at risk for heart complications, so we made a cardiologist appointment for June 5. They said we have to watch for contractures, joint stiffness. The physical therapist said his hips feel a little tight and to let his regular physical therapists know so they can give us some excercises to work on with him.
We had all the kids with us that day and I actually think it helped keep me together that day. I think it finally hit me that night. I have this huge knot inside me now. I always wondered how parents handled getting news like this about their children. I just could never imagine. I still can't. I don't know how to look at my baby boy while he's looking up at me with those trusting, big, blue eyes and know that I can't help him. As a mother, you just always want to make everything better for your kids. You want them to feel no pain, ever. I don't know how this is going to look over the years, but I do know deep down that God has a plan. As hard as this is, I know God has a reason for allowing this. Just like I have to focus on his physical care, I feel like I need to focus on his spiritual care even more in the coming years. I want him to grow up to know God and to trust God no matter what his life is like.
I'm trying so hard to just trust in God. I need Him so much right now. I can't imagine going through this without Him. We need prayers. We need support. Right now I am constantly talking to God, just asking Him to carry me. I just keep picturing the footprints in the sand poem. I need to be carried through this right now. I need motivation right now to just do the everyday things. Right now it is almost 9:45 at night and I haven't made dinner for my older children. This is just so hard.  

5 comments:

  1. Praying for you guys. May you continue to find your strength and comfort in the arms of God as you trust His perfect plan for your family.
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jon and Tanya,

    Praying for you guys! So sorry, I know this must be so hard! I'm so happy you have your girls to help you smile! We love you and hope that we can help you in some way! Keep your eyes on Jesus!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I will be praying for your precious little boy. He is so sweet and a beautiful blessing from our Lord. There is no disease that our Lord is NOT greater and has not already conquered on Calvary. I believe in a great God, who is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. If He healed and delivered the many sick people then, 2,000 years ago, He sure can today. All things are in His timing for His glory and our spiritual growth. What beautiful BIG blue eyes he has. He is a little flirt! In His Hands, Dottie Small

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'll/we'll be praying for you and Jon and your girls... this is so hard.
    I'm so glad I 'stumbled' on your blog, here. Tanya. If there is anything you need: someone to watch the girls or you need a meal... please let us know. Message me through FB - if you want.

    ~Bev & Scott

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Tanya.....I am wiping away tears as I am typing this :( It is so hard to hear stuff like this, but you are absolutely right, God has a plan for Treston, and you just have to know that this is in His hands.
    My cousins son was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, not quite as early as Treston, but he is 6 now and is doing pretty good. So if you ever need someone to relate to, talk to, ask questions of, anything, I know that she would love to talk. Just me know know.......
    Our thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you.....

    -Kelly

    ReplyDelete